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Cheering him on, suffering each point as if their lives depend on it - and doing his laundry afterwards - are Andy Murray's biggest fans, girlfriend Kim Sears and mum Judy. KIM: Excellent tennis genes. The 21-year-old daughter of Nigel Sears, head ...
Read moreAndy's Angels: From the girlfriend who cuts his hair to the mum who ... - Daily Mail
Although she has two degrees and years of experience, her salary does not approach the pension the city of Memphis will indefinitely grant Yalanda McFadgon for committing a felony and serving Mayor Willie Herenton's corrupt administration while ...
Read moreHerenton's legacy of corruption - Memphis Commercial Appeal
LORAIN — Francisco "Turk" Gonzalez III, September 6, 1978-June 28, 2009. The best and only creation of his parents, Damarita E. & Francisco Gonzalez, Jr., Turk, at age 30, stood at a 5'4" package of solid character: beautiful blue eyes topped by ...
Read moreFrancisco 'Turk' Gonzalez III - Morning Journal
A regular on the Tennis circuit, she met Andy at the U.S Open in August 2005. After being bombarded by mobile phone messages, she finally relented and has been dating him since 2006. According to Andy, the best thing about Kim is that she 'kind of ...
Read moreANDY'S ANGELS - FOXSports.com
Just a reminder that Community Solutions meets next on Saturday, July 25 at 2 p.m. at the Los Baños Sportsmen's Club. This is a positive group trying to come up with creative solutions, and all are welcome. No dues, or fines; just hope and good ...
Read moreAround Town: Solutions reminder - Los Baños Enterprise
Marc Colombo lowers his bald head and leans his sweaty, 6-foot-8, 318-pound frame toward the microphone, growling to the crowd that the next song will "rip your face off." The sometimes scary stage presence of the heavily tattooed guitarist and ...
Read moreAiling guitarist gets second chance with left hand - Fresno Bee
1849: This from Roddick as he walks off court, waving to a crowd which gives him his generous dues: "I had to play my best tennis to win today. I can't say enough good things about Andy's game but I can play some tennis. Not many people gave me a ...
Read moreLive - Wimbledon - BBC Sport
2028: It's been a miserable day if you were after a historic Murray v Federer final, less so if you're a fan of Andy Roddick or a sober enough judge to marvel at just how well he played today. Never mind, there will be plenty more chances for Murray ...
Read moreWimbledon day 11 as it happened - BBC Sport
STEVE POIZNER, California insurance commissioner, Republican candidate for governor. Newsom says he has not had occasion to press the button since, although the mayor admits he is tempted to whenever meetings drag on or when reporters ask him ...
Read moreWho Can Possibly Govern California? - New York Times
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Resolved Question: Is this willie nelson song possible?
Now, many many years ago When I was twenty three I was married to a widow Who was pretty as could be This widow had a grown-up daughter Had hair of red My father fell in love with her And soon the two were wed This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life My daughter was my mother 'Cause she was my father's wife To complicate the matters Even though it brought me joy I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad And so became my uncle Though it made me very sad For if he was my uncle That also made him the brother Of the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know But it really is so I'm my own grandpa My father's wife then had a son That kept them on the run And he became my grandchild For he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue Because, she is my wife She's my grandmother too I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know But it really is so I'm my own grandpa Now, if my wife is my grandmother Then, I am her grandchild And every time I think of it It nearly drives me wild For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw As the husband of my grandmother I am my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know But it really is so I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know But it really is so I'm my own grandpa moreVoting Question: Suggestions on what to wear to an outdoor music festival?
Okay, so next weekend I'm going to an outdoor music festival on the river in my city, and I need some suggestions on what to wear before I go shopping. I live in Arkansas, and it's super hot here already, so I'm going to be in crowded mosh pits in 95 degree weather. So I need something cotton that breathes well and isn't black. The concerts I am going to are the B52s, Willie Nelson, Gavin Rossdale, the Little River Band, Heart, Hinder, Flyleaf, and Three Doors Down, if that helps determine the style. It is for three days. I normally shop at Aeropostale, American Eagle, Hot Topic, Pacsun, and Romancing the Stone, if that helps. Plus, my new boyfriend is going, so I want to look cute in something bright that isn't too revealing but still keeps me from burning up. Also, I'll be doing a lot of walking and jumping, and it's rained a lot lately so it's probably muddy, so no heels. Some hair and makeup tips would be cool too. moreResolved Question: Can you add to this list of revised 60's songs for todays baby boomers?
Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash. Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends. The Bee Gees -- - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip. Roberta 0A Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face. The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom. Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair. Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping. The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone. Abba--- Denture Queen. Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall. Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To. And Last but NOT least: Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again moreResolved Question: what do americans think of scotland and scottish people?
i was wondering what all you americans think of us scots? do u really think we all wear kilts and eat haggis and live in a little village by lochness? do we have ginger hair and talk like willie from the simpsons? haha moreResolved Question: What say you to a poem inspired by song lyrics?
She is Gone, by Willie Nelson (lyrics and link follow) She is gone but she was here and her presence is still heavy in the air What a taste of human love now she's gone and it don't matter anymore Crossing dreams with our lives it was more than just a woman and a man It was love without the sky now my life will never be the same again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3IZupZ4084 A little happier version, perhaps? You are Here You are here, I know you're near as I feel your hands caress my hair with love your kiss I taste from up above you're not gone what we were matters still my dear we lived our dreams in full delight it was more than a husband and a wife it was us, we did not want and now I wait to be with you once again. doclakewrite: Ha! Duly chastised! Perhaps this shows more effort: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aqe.JZhKBfchdICLhlbC86_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20081104055931AARN5jx moreResolved Question: things to do in wal mart!!!!?
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store. 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?" 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive. 17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 20. Put M&M's on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!" 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 32. Take bets on the battle described above. 33. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!" 36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 37. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 42. Two words: "Marco Polo." 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. 44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head). 45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations. 53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!) 58. While handling guns in the hunting department, as moreResolved Question: What kind of world would we have had by now, had we, in 1988, not put the first Bush in?
In 1988, it was racism and Willie Horton Ads, not to mention some pundits thinking Dukakis looked like, 'Rocky the Squirrel', in a military cap and goggles (honest to God, imagine losing an election over that?). If we don't get it this time, (for whatever reason), I think we simply don't deserve good leaders any more, and the torch may one day pass from our hands to that of another more deserving nation. When it gets to where you demand so much out of a leader that you have to split hairs over why they aren't 'perfect', just do me one favor and look in the mirror. If you don't see the cover of GQ Magazine staring back, there's your answer, and please vote in the candidate who will best help that poor little guy staring back. (Hint: it probably isn't a Republican.) Well G.H. Curtis, I happen to know that "Know" is spelled "k-n-o-w," , not, "n-o",you illiterate fool. I doubt you could even read the names on the ballot moreResolved Question: Joke > Revising hits from the 60's for aging boomers this should fit well with old timers you think?
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include: Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair Leo Sayer --- Yo U Make Me Feel Like Napping The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone Abba--- Denture Queen Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again moreResolved Question: How much? he's mine, potentially selling..MORE DETAILS INCLUDED?
How deos he look and how much would you pay for him? This is a pure haflinger Willie Waldorf out of Waldorf JPH and Effie's First Started over jumps and started barrel racing Fast horse 53 inches (13.1 hh) Has won halter shows Show experience Stands for farrier, loves baths, working on loading, stands at cross-ties and eventually falls asleep No vices All around good horse Broke to ride Nice pretty slow trot Working on starting in english Great confirmation and great personality. The girls at the barn absolutely love his personality and his hair! Registered. 6 years old How much would you pay for him? This pic does him no good. he still ahd his thick winter coat and hadnt been bathed for quite some time. thnks for any estimates ~~~~Here is the link http://s213.photobucket.com/albums/cc249... 9 hours ago - 1 week left to answer. Additional Details 9 seconds ago Ya i know he is a little weird looking, but im not over-selling him at all. I've run him on barrels in 28 seconds flat. He doesn't do em perfect but he has speed, even for a draft. Slow trot for western but picks it up into an extended trot that is quicker after a week on english training. So much potential. And he fell asleep after like an hour at the cross-ties when i was braiding his hair for a show. Slow when you want him to be yet can pick up the pace when asked of him heres the link that works. if you have already seen this exact question for the third time, then dont click on it again. save you and me some trouble. sorry for incorrect link http://s213.photobucket.com/albums/cc249/sasha1792/?action=view¤t=willie.jpg its the large pattern moreResolved Question: This part of life happens to everyone. I'm not there yet. Are you?
LOL @ these songs It was fun being a baby boomer... until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include: Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker . Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends. The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip. Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face. Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Th ree Times to the Bathroom. Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair. Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping. The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone. Abba--- Denture Queen. Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall. Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To. And my favorite: Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again moreResolved Question: I ask Democrates, are we going to stand for the Left wing doing what the are doing?Glenn Greenwald?
moreResolved Question: My crush treats me like a 14 year old?
yeah, am 17(turning 18). He's 22ish, around there. I don't know him THAT well, but he does have a good personality and he is a good listener from what I've seen. But he is really playful-tickling, suffocating me with a pillow, wet willie =0, pinching my cheecks(he declared im cute/adorable thats why), patting my cheek, smoothed out my hair over and over-well, he said aww good doggy. lol. he told me to massage his hair..but also can be very serious when he wants too. he jokes around with everyone, idk physically or not. but i think he regards me as "his cute little friend" maybe? he is also extremely caring.but he takes me serious also..who wants a guy that lacks a sense of humour eh but still does he just thinks me as a friend? he said our age difference wasnt that bad either(it was really random too) im confused dipshit moreResolved Question: Songs to Boxers?
Just something a little different. Name song tittles/ lyrics that describe boxers. Jack Dempsey-"TNT"(AC/DC)- "Hair of the Dog(Nazareth)..."Now your messin with a S.O.B." Roberto Duran-Hungry like a Wolf( Duran Duran) John Ruiz-"Hold me now"(Thompson Twins) Ali-"Mouth"(Bush) Harry Greb-'Rock you like a hurricane'(Scorpions) Rocky Maricano- "Hard as a Rock"(AC/DC)-"Susie Q (Rolling Stones) Andrew Golota-'Low Rider"(War) Mayweather Jr.-'It's money that matters'(Randy Newman)- 'Money Talks' (AC/DC) Willie Pep-'Dancing Machine'(Michael Jackson) Henry Armstrong-'Live Wire'(AC/DC) Stanley Ketchel-'Except No Mercy'(Nazareth) Tom Sharkey--Hit Me With Your Best Shot'(Pat Benatar)- 'I Wont Back Down'(Tom Petty) moreResolved Question: Collection of jokes?
Collection of jokes There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said , "If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied, "Could you hold my camel?" A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple whom also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog." A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5, 000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35, " was the reply. "I'm actually 47, " the man says happily. A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?" "Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47, " Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's". A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me." A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom. "To take the pain away, " sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink. "It doesn't work!" she yelled. "What do you mean?" asked Mom. "Well, " sniffed the little girl, "I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider." A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport, " he asked? "Fifteen bucks, " came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver. John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to' Bring this note to your beautiful Mummy.' The note read: The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to 'Bring this to your silly Daddy.' The note read: Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today. John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to 'The lady in the kitchen'. The note read: The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread, So Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head. Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to 'Take this to the poor man upstairs'. The note read: I'm Sure That Your Pole's The Best In The Land. But I'm Busy Right Now, So Do It By Hand! Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!" There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw. Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw." The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming." A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked. "Well", the woman responded, "I've made one hundred dollars and fifty cents." "That's strange", the husband responded, "who gave you the fifty cents?" Said the woman: "All of them, of course!" Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES" The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it, "He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago." Doctor, the embarrassed man said, 'I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.' 'Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.' So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, 'Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Thomas.' The woman obliged and removed her clothing. 'Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on.' While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. 'You're in perfect health,' he said to the man. 'Your wife didn't give me an erection either.' Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, 'Sure.' About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman. They all laugh. The guy says, 'No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like.' So Jack decides to check it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. Jack gets all excited and says, 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?' The hit man replies, 'Sure.' So Jack looks and says, 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife. Wait, there's my next door neighbor! And he's naked too!' This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it would be for a hit. The hitman replies, 'I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger.' Jack responds, '$1000? Well, OK, I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife.' The hit man agrees, gears up and looks through the scope. He's looking for about five minutes until finally Jack starts to get really impatient and asks, 'What are you waiting for? The hitman replies, 'Relax..... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks!' A little boy goes up to his father and asks: 'Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?' The father replies: 'Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000.' The boy goes and asks his mother: 'Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?' The mother replies: 'Hell yes I would!' The little boy returns to his father: 'Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'' The father then says: 'Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000.' The boy asks his sister: 'Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?' The sister replies: 'Hell yes I would!' He returns to his father: 'Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'' The father answers: 'Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores.' A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?" "What! Are you crazy!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, " he ensures his girlfriend. "No! Someone might see us..." "It's just a small blowjob, " he insists, "and I know you like it." "No! I said no!" "Baby... don't be like that." "Come on baby pleeeeaassseee" "I'm not going to give you a blow job" "Why Not...baby it will be quick I promise?" Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom." Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks, 'What's that Mommy? 'A little embarrassed, she tells him that is her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Some time later, Tommy catches his mother in the shower shortly after she has shaved her bush for bikini season. Tommy asks her, 'Where is your sponge mommy? 'Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will probably find it soon. Tommy is a little worried and promises his mommy that he will help her find it. His mother says OK and goes back to showering. Soon, Tommy comes running back in and says that he has found his mother's sponge.' What do you mean you found my sponge? "The lady next door has it and she's washing Daddy's face with it!' This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this: Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ? Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? Brian: Yeah, alright. Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. Sharelle: Hi Brian. Brian: Hi Sharelle. Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. Sharelle: O.K. Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ? Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio. Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8: 00 this morning before Brian went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle ? Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it ? Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.. just tell em. Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass ! Radio Silence A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face and shaking him, "Are you alright?" In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say?" The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions almost everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'. What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman? What does a dog do that you can step into? What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages? What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? ANSWERS: 1. (talk) 2. (legs) 3. (a twenty dollar bill) 4. (firetruck) 5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 6. (pants) 7. (fork) 8. (Almond Joy candy bar) 9. (grit) 10. (last name) A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off." The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!" A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!" The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!" "Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!" The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?" The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!" "Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!" "Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either." A guy goes to the tattoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1, 000 to put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this. The man replies, 'I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now.' So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis. So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie. So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: 'First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it.' It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words, " he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well, " she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea." One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope, " replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."' A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?" He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job." moreResolved Question: Creepy cousin or loving cousin?
He is 21, and I am 15... Anyways, he is so nice to me. But he comes off so touchy my mom is annoyed by it. He says things like, "You're sooo adorable," and "you're soo cute." He meant it. And then pinches my cheek, he'll always touch me. Any excuse though. Like I said, 'Oh my cousin always does this to me*and then I demonstrate*. And he does it back, by patting my hair. Like 7474 times. Up and down.Then he told me massage his hair. The man is agressive. He is very playful though. Or he says "how is you're love life?" and Im like, I'm not going to date during HS. And he said he was proud. He was normal in front of his girlfriend, but she was their for a few minutes. When she left he starts acting like where fourteen. And he asks about me. And aagghh, flirty. And he scratches down there and pulls his gym sweats down. Haha, maybe itchy?And my mom got mad...*ur not a little girl or something* she said .Do u think he acts wrong? He gave me a wet willie =/He jokes a lot, never serious. If you're wondering if it makes un-comfortable I don't know. I think its wierd in front of the parents. Maybe his parents dont have dirty minds and he thinks it is just innocent and trying to act my age? I think it is gross, a 21 year old..and me?! ew. Actually yeah, it freaks me out. I just wanna know why he would do that in front of parents? i couldnt back off because he kept talking and didnt wanna seem rude moreResolved Question: Creepy cousin or loving cousin?
He is 21, and I am 15... Anyways, he is so nice to me. But he comes off so touchy my mom is annoyed by it. He says things like, "You're sooo adorable," and "you're soo cute." He meant it. And then pinches my cheek, he'll always touch me. Any excuse though. Like I said, 'Oh my cousin always does this to me*and then I demonstrate*. And he does it back, by patting my hair. Like 7474 times. Up and down.Then he told me massage his hair. The man is agressive. He is very playful though. Or he says "how is you're love life?" and Im like, I'm not going to date during HS. And he said he was proud. But in front of his girlfriend he is like normal. When she left he starts acting like where fourteen. And he asks about me. And aagghh, flirty. And he scratches down there and pulls his gym sweats down. Haha, maybe itchy?And my mom got mad...*ur not a little girl or something* she said .Do u think he acts wrong? He gave me a wet willie =/He jokes a lot, never serious. always joking. P.S, he did this in front of my parents too. And his.I think he think its innocent, but my mom thinks other wise..though shes known for her dirtyy mind. His Gf was their only for a little while moreResolved Question: Creepy cousin or loving cousin?
He is 22, and I am 17... Anyways, he is so nice to me. But he comes off so touchy my mom is annoyed by it. He says things like, "You're sooo adorable," and "you're soo cute." He meant it. And then pinches my cheek, he'll always touch me. Any excuse though. Like I said, 'Oh my cousin always does this to me*and then I demonstrate*. And he does it back, by patting my hair. Like 7474 times. Up and down.Then he told me massage his hair. The man is agressive. He is very playful though. Or he says "how is you're love life?" and Im like, I'm not going to date during HS. And he said he was proud. But in front of his girlfriend he is like normal. When she left he starts acting like where fourteen. And he asks about me. And aagghh, flirty. And he scratches down there and pulls his gym sweats down. Haha, maybe itchy? And my mom got mad...*ur not a little girl or something* she said .Do u think he acts wrong? He gave me a wet willie =/ And then touched me more =/btw hes never acted like this b4 moreResolved Question: Creepy cousin or loving cousin?
He is 22, and I am 17... Anyways, he is so nice to me. But he comes off so touchy my mom is annoyed by it. He says things like, "You're sooo adorable," and "you're soo cute." He meant it. And then pinches my cheek, he'll always touch me. Any excuse though. Like I said, 'Oh my cousin always does this to me*and then I demonstrate*. And he does it back, by patting my hair. Like 7474 times. Up and down.Then he told me massage his hair. The man is agressive. He is very playful though. Or he says "how is you're love life?" and Im like, I'm not going to date during HS. And he said he was proud. But in front of his girlfriend he is like normal. When she left he starts acting like where fourteen. And he asks about me. And aagghh, flirty. And he scratches down there and pulls his gym sweats down. Haha, maybe itchy? And my mom got mad...*ur not a little girl or something* she said .Do u think he acts wrong? He gave me a wet willie =/ And then touched me more. =/ moreVoting Question: But he has a girlfriend......?
My mom's friend son. He is 22, and I am 17... Anyways, he is so nice to me. But he comes off so touchy my mom is annoyed by it. He says things like, "You're sooo adorable," and "you're soo cute." He meant it. And then pinches my cheek, he'll always touch me. Any excuse though. Like I said, 'Oh my cousin always does this to me*and then I demonstrate*. And he does it back, by patting my hair. Like 7474 times. Up and down.Then he told me massage his hair. The man is agressive. He is very playful though. Or he says "how is you're love life?" and Im like, I'm not going to date during HS. And he said he was proud. But in front of his girlfriend he is like normal. When she left he starts acting like where fourteen. And he asks about me. And aagghh, flirty. And he scratches down there and pulls his gym sweats down. Haha, maybe itchy? And my mom got mad...*ur not a little girl or something* she said .Do u think he acts wrong? He gave me a wet willie =/ And then touched me more. =/ moreResolved Question: Poor little ugly kitten...?
This is Willie when I rescued him from the pound http://www.flickr.com/photos/catsnkits/2142955004/ This is Willie at 10 months old http://www.flickr.com/photos/catsnkits/2142161989/ All his hair was gone from around his neck due to severe ear mites and he was just about to be put down. Out of all the adorable kittens I just couldn't leave poor little ugly Willie there. He looked so alone. Does anyone else have kitty pics to share? I just love kitty pics! Not the avatar kitten that's Allie, look at the links. Actually I posted this to let people see the difference a loving home can make in a pet's life. Runts and sickly babies (and adults) need a little extra care but it's worth it. Lord have mercy, people. Get the point. I never called Willie ugly to his face. Is it not clear that I love this cat and saw beyond his outward appearance? I too believe all animals are beautiful but the general public would have thought Willie too ugly to mess with and left him for a cute, cuddly fuzzy kitten. I was trying to prove a point with this! moreResolved Question: Revamped songs for the baby boomers?
1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker. 2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip. 3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash. 4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends. 5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face. 6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now. 7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver. 8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom. 9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts. 10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair. 11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping. 12. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone. 13. Abba--- Denture Queen. 14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceilin g If You Hear Me Fall. 15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. 16. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To. 17. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again. moreResolved Question: The 90's suck.. PSYCHE!!!?
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if: You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain , and Two Stupid Dogs. AAAAAAAH real monsters. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE! You just cant resist finishing this... "Iiiiiiin west Philadelphia born and raised..." You remember TGIF on ABC. Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World. You remember when, 2Pac and Selena died. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not... You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time" Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show. You remember Squirt gun fights. Captain Planet. He's a Hero. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together. You remember when super Nintendo's and Sega Genesis became popular. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny. You remember watching home alone 1, and 2........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders" You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS. You remember when Yomega Yo-Yos were cool. when you were grown up when you turned 7, cuz you could watch are you afraid of the dark because it was tvY7! You remember those Where's Waldo books.....and found him You remember when Mortal Kombat Was "Da Bomb"! U remember eating Warheads.(those sour candy's) You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies. U remember Ring Pops. U remember drinkin' Fruitopia and Surge. if you member when every thing was "da BOMB" when they made the new lunchables so that you could make tacos and pizza!! You remember boom boxes vs. cd players Writing M.A.S.H. notes. (and the twenty different versions of that) Making those little paper fortune cookie things.. and then predicting your life with them. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell" You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere ...Furbies. You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers,and Ninja Turtles. You had a favorite New Kid on the block, and you knew all of there names Michael Jordan was a king. Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff! All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.) You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out. You collected those Beanie Babies. Growing Pains. Carebears and The Gummy Bear show. Gak was the coolest thing invented. Lambchop's song never ended. The old dollar bills. Silver dollars, were cool that have. You remember a time before the WB. You collected all the Troll dolls with the bright hair You remember when Will Smith came out with Big Willie style! You owned a portable tape player. If you even know what an original Walkman is. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" ... enough said You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" You know the significance of the number 23. You went to McD's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds...at the play ground. Ducktailes, Chip & Dales Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck, Count Duckula You can recall when Lucky Charms was just, Hearts, stars, horseshoes, and clovers Nintendo......not Super NES, or 64...just Nintendo...with Mario Brothers/Duck hunt..and you always wished you could shoot that damn dog. When Mark Summers was Nickelodeon's host of almost every game show You know where to find the Shrine of the Silver Monkey I'm Boney, I'm Boney, leave me aloney. Nickelodeon was King Clarissa Explains it all, Pete and Pete, Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts......Camp Anawana, we hold you in our hearts When we were younger: Before the MySpace frenzy... Before the Internet & text messaging... Before Sidekicks & iPods... Before MIKE JONES... Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX... Before Sponge Bob When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing. When we recorded stuff on VCRs . When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our Walkmans. When 2Pac and Biggie where alive. When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever. Way back... when it was all about Nintendo64. when you had a wind breaker w/bright colored sleeves when you collected Pokemon cards Stick Stickley hosted Nick toons in the afternoon {in the summertime} Before we realized all this would eventually disappear Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!! to the guy who said... "Wow, 2pac was so important deserved to be mentioned twice...lol. I never heard of him until he died. And "Psyche" is an 80's thing, people got beat up for saying it in the 90's. Saturday morning cartoons ended in the 90's, thanks alot for that! Everything else seems pretty accurate. " i'm not sure what you were tryin to say about cartoons, but i was born in 1990 and i watched Saturday morning cartoons all the time and the kids in 'So Cal' said 'PYCHE' a lot.. i don't know where you were but "Whatever" moreResolved Question: How is this for a Conspiracy Theory?
Here is my spin on 9/11 conspiracy theories....The whole thing was master minded by Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and the Democratic Party in the last few years they were in office. Through the public opinion polls conducted through out the late 90's they knew defeat was really very possible, especially since Gore is a total idiot. So they started pumping money into Bin Ladin's terrorist group...make several fake attempt to capture or kill him...to keep up the appearance that they were doing something about terrorism....so after their failed attempt to get elected by using the theory that the dumb people who could not read ballots, or know how many people they could vote for at one time really voted for them was shot down by the Constitution and the Supreme Court and trying everything they could to get the Military Absent T ballots disqualified (sad that they would rather have a dimpled chad counted than a service member's real vote.) they knew it was time to enact their plan....So Bill decideds it is time to contact Osama through the little radio he had planed in Monica's mouth and knowing it could only be activated by touching it with a special device he had place in his "Willie", he sent the message that it was time to begin...and we all know what happened on 9/11...But Bill and Al knew they were safe because the Liberal Media would look for anyone but the terrorists to blame for the attack and wacko people who have watched too many Scifi movies would cook up so many hair brained theories trying to connect the attack to the US goverment...they all sat back and laughed as their plan became what it is today...it was like shooting fish in a barrel...they got the Democrats back into power in the congress and they punished the awful military who voted against them...how about this for you...sound good? Could it have happened...you decide.... moreResolved Question: The One Mother Warned About (Blues lyric)?
THE ONE MOTHER WARNED ABOUT By WILLY SENKIWSKY 3/22/04 1:30 PM A-Harp, Key of E, Slow Acoustic Blues To all the young ones hanging out. I can tell you this without any doubt. I'm the one your mother warned about! My hair's still long your father had his cut. I remember when your mother was a s!ut! I know where she has a secret tattoo. One that she'll never show to you! She probably won't admit to knowing me. Times were different then we tried to be free! I once tried working nine to five. Couldn't do it but I survived! I hear she took all her piercing's out? I can still remember how she used to shout. But remember I'm the one mother warned about! She'll say I'll only break your heart. She did it to me when she was a t*rt! Or she'll say if you mess with me you'll die. Say okay then why is she still alive? I hear she got religion and is very devout. When you see her say I'm here not worn out. Just remember I'm the one mother warned about!!!... Copyright 2004 Willy Senkiwsky -- All Rights Received -- Unauthorized Duplication Prohibited "The Blues are the roots, and the other music is the fruits." One of Willie Dixon's favorite sayings, from I Am the Blues by Willie Dixon with Don Snowden (DaCapo, 1989) "Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule. Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases, though not often." --Samuel Butler (1612-80), English poet, Author "Simple music is the hardest music to play and blues is simple music." --Albert Collins Here's the link to my site, now I definitely have music, and me singing "That's Just the Way That I Am," an original, there and pics too. Don't just stop at the front page scroll down and check it all out! Keep checking back it just been updated... I made a new page, "Me and Evilbay (A work in progress)." There are pages "How to Know If you're a New Yorker," by me and "Willys Jokes." A little humor on the serious side! Sign the guestbook too y'all! http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/ moreMore Little Willie Hair Results